The March of Madness

Okay, it's been a while for me and the blog because I've actually been busy. Some of it is fun and most of it has been keeping up with the daily operations. Throughout all of this I am also trying to work through the book the "Artist Way" meeting with a group on Saturdays to bust through some of my creative blocks. Part of the recovery is journaling. The journaling has been taking away from my little bit of blogging. Also, I feel like a disclaimer should be hung around my neck as I go through this process. I've been dealing with some deep blocks from my past that I can't even write about yet because they are still being uncovered. Let's just say that sometimes...I can get really angry. The emotions have been intense and there hasn't been too much quiet space to process everything properly. As I write this the idea of a bon-fire flashes through my mind. A bon-fire would be satisfying.

AND the daiy operations - The schedules have all been tossed around. I've tried putting the DS in pre-school for one day a week but he hates it. The director says that he is very attached to me. He wanders around pre-school not really knowing what to do or how to be. While all of the other kids play or read. It's been heart wrenching for me to leave him in a place he doesn't like while I go teach a class. So now I search for the nanny/housekeeper alternative. The thought of spending so much money on a nanny once a week feels decadent. But, I need a relief so that I can get some actual work done.

Yeah, this month I became a "Fitness Instructor". It says so on my official hospital security clearance i.d. badge. It makes me giggle because it is a Lunch Time Bellydance class offered to hospital employees and anyone else who is interested in coming. Mostly it's hospital employees. It's a kick.

Week 1 - Weekend Away at the Rogue
Spent a fabulously needed weekend away with my friends in Fresno to see the fruits of their labors at the Rogue Performance Festival. I had the pleasure of being able to sit in the audience and see entire shows. Without the responsibilities of taking care of short peoples needs I could wander around and go where and when and eat what and when I wanted. A very liberating experience. Plus, I got to have some serious girlfriend time and I always enjoy a good scheme-ing session with Lecram. When I returned I felt seriously infused and resusitated. A nice bonus is that the DH is home with the DS. When I return from a weekend away he always is reminded just how much I actually do to make our house a home. (I never really understood how big that word is...Homemaking. In the past it only meant making the cookies just the right size in the home ec class. But that is for another blog.)

Week 2 - Raqs La'Majali Performs at the Goat Cafe
I was inspired and revived by my friends in the big NO and ended up having the best performance ever! It was nice to feel good about this show. We worked hard for months. Rehearsals twice a week or more everyweek for three months. My company mates cleaned up my technique and I worked hard on a sword solo. It felt great to dance with my sword again. Those killer strength training classes at the gym have been paying off.

Week 3 - 20 years High School Reunion
We got socked in the eye by a nice snow and ice storm the day before I was supposed to drive up to Sturbridge MA. I'd been waffling about going for months. The song "should I stay or should I go" reverberated through my head for a couple of days. We shoveled 10" of really heavy snow, the sun came out and I left at the very last possible minute that I could. The cocktail hour by the pool was over by the time that I arrived after my three hour drive. The drive was happily uneventful. The most exciting part was wondering when the box truck in front of me on the Tappanzee Bridge was going to tip over it was wobbling so much. Passed him and plugged in my new CD's and had a great time listening to my music. What else, it was a new Arabic mix cd. Usually my drives are filled with listening to the Backyardagains singing "Racing day, Racing Day, it's not doily lacing day, today's the day we race."

The reunion turned out to be fun. I recognized the people that I knew I would and didn't recognize some others. It was fun to catch up with people that I had spent so much time with as a teenager. No-one really changed that I could tell. Did I exorcise some of my creative demons? I hope so. I realized that I never quite fit in in high school because everyone is different. I was the crazy artist. Unfortunately, I was always trying to fit in by restricting some of my wilder side. The contrast between the Affinity that I feel with my friends at Rogue and the friendships from high school is pretty dramatic. The connection that I feel with my Rogue friends is deep. It's like sitting in a warm and inviting tub. It's like returning home to a spiritual tribe. As corny as it sounds, some of the Rogue people I feel like I've known for a couple of lives. The old buds from high school are just that. But, they are still fun to go to keg parties with. Truly, there was a keg party after the official party. But, you can tell we are older because the keg was filled with a hoppy tasting boutique micro-brew.

Week 4 - More Bellydance and the PTO Adult Night Fundraiser Dinner
Subbed for one of my girlfriends bellydance classes while she did her Pilates Matt Testing. She is a 'real' fitness instructor. After teaching two hours of classes I was loopy. It's difficult to teach and dance and be 'on' for so long. Then I had to come home and shower so that the DH and I could go to the DD's school fundraising dinner.

The Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) hosted the usual baskets for auction, bland food for $35 dollars a ticket event held in a cavernous church hall with really bad acoustics. The entertainment for the night was watching people become hypnotized and acting silly because this hypnotist told them what to do. The first half hour was interesting but it was pretty boring for the next hour and a half. We did win an overnight stay at a Marriott hotel about 8 miles away from us. Yay, a night away with my husband to look forward to.

Then Sunday was wrapped up with a Lecture Demo class for performance skills and etiquette for dancers working with musicians. Azmara is a lovely instructor and very entertaining.

The DH flew off to Orlando in the afternoon to speak at a coding conference. He'll be back on Tuesday but with schedules as they are, I won't actually see him until Thursday night. The last couple of nights have been cozy snuggling with my kids.

All of the traveling has been fun. I'm not sure what the next couple of weeks will bring. I'm going to rest up and get ready. Right now I'm busy planning the summer vacations for the kids. Summer camps, swimming lessons and day trips and Grandma is coming for a visit.

I better book that weekend away with the DH before the summer is too full.